It has been a while since you have seen the literary documentation of my portion of Project 11/11. It took me so long to write an update because I was waiting to find something more positive to share, rather than repetitively updating the blog with the constant gray cloud I thought was following me; however, I think I found the light.
"Need bad days to recognize the good," he always says. He also repetitively mentions, "If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all." In both cases he is correct, no matter how playful the second quote is. I will let you decide.
On Sunday, April 10th : It was finally warm enough to run outside. It had hit upper fifties in the early morning, so when I woke up, I was pumped and running outside was all I could think or talk about. I was really nervous to go, as I always am for the first "real run" of the year. It took me several hours to get dressed, eat my Lucky Charms, brush my teeth and stretch. I was finally ready to run and when I started my iPod, the music started to stream from my iPhone's speakers. I checked my cable and made sure it was properly inserted and struggled with them for a minute before deciding that they were not going to work and that I needed a new pair. my luck.
At this point I find the extended delay relieving. The temperature had rose another seven degrees since the morning; since I had originally had intended to run. When I finally started my run I had come to realize that the city I live in is full of winding roads, sidewalks that mysteriously end and the city has no flat running space. The entire city is up and down hill, one busy street after another. I would run up a hill, sprint down the hill, the sidewalk would end and then I would have to wait to cross the street. Normally I would be okay with with this pattern, but it was my first run of the season and it was a difficult time in my training to realize that this is how it was going to be the entire time I was training in my city.
I have not even finished one mile when I came to my first hurdle of the day. I started to cough, and I am used to this happening during my first "real run" of the season. Coughing up and spitting out some mucus is normal for me as well. What I am not used to is the mucus turning a little bloody and and becoming increasingly bloody before I have reached my first mile. I start to become concerned and I start to walk. I don't know what exactly to do or what is going on so I immediately text Kellie-Anne and my close friends Amber and Nick to see what to do. The worst responce was a frown with an attached comment, "are you okay bb," from Amber.
After walking for a few blocks, I became a little less worried, felt a little better so I start to jog again. I struggle for about a mile or so before toggling between a light jog and a sluggish walk. I started to notice that I was becoming sick and increasingly exhausted so I decided to make my way back home. I decide this at the bottom of monster hill. I call it that because it is about amile long and the incline is redic, but I have to take it because I don't know where I came from and I know how to get home from this location. I basically crawled up half of the hill and became the stoop kid from Hey Arnold! on a stranger's staircase near the sidewalk. It is here that I decided there would not be a lot of running in the near future.
Now at this point I am still sitting on the stranger's stairs looking up at this hill I just climbed to my right, then to my left all of the hill that I still had to climb. Dang. I go to Nick for support at this point and he cutely chimes in that he would carry me up the hill if he were to be there with me. The thought of having someone pick me up, or just the thought of being off of the ground in general makes me nervous. I remind Nick of this and follow up with that I am nearly positive that he wouldn't be able to get me from point A to point B. He was quick to remind me of his profession in the military and the blazing heat he deals with, all the gear he has to carry in his hands and on his back, and all of the running and exertion of effort he uses each day in said heat and gear.
I am now faced with the decision of to accept the fact that he can very easily carry my worn out body in the now eighty-four degree weather up the hill from the very bottom of the hill to the monstrous top, despite the redic incline; or I can challenge him to do it and reward him with ice cream and a back rub if the task can be completed. I hope he remembers that he will have to do this when he visits me now, and how important this specific conversation was to me. It really motivated me to get up and nearly crawl my exhausted body up the hill and walk the extra mile home. Without that light-hearted joke-turned competition, I would have laid there to rest as the stoop kid that never left her stoop because she got too sick during the first run of the season over a thirteen-degree heat increase and difficult-to-run rolling hills. That would have not hung well over my head so thank you, Nick. I owe you one, and will more than likely also owe you ice cream and a back rub come September.
Side note: I walk past a Dairy Queen on the way home from any runs I do within Chardon. I will never bring emergency money with me on a run because it will turn into an emergency Blizzard on my way home from a finished run! However, after this particular run, B. dragged her sick butt out of bed to get medicine from Walmart, made the effort to swing by my apartment and peel my sweaty and exhausted butt out of bed to go with her and get a DQ smoothie. It was the best post-race award ever. Thanks, B., you're amazing!
Side note number two: Nick is getting King Kone at the bottom of the monster hill. That means we have to go up for him to complete the challenge, down for the ice cream and back up to go home. It's not that I like the additional effort, I just prefer KK's soft serve over DQ's haha! :)
Tuesday, April 12th : I was only few hours into shift at work when I started feeling like my lungs were becoming restricted. I felt like I was struggling to intake air, though I knew my oxogen levels were good. It was beomcing difficult to keep up with my call flow and it was giving me a headache. I called Health Services, the doctors office at work, explained to them what was going on with my lungs and was told the earliest appointment was noon the next day. I made the appointment and took a small lunch break to call my primary care physician. Their earliest was eight am the next morning. I felt stuck so I consulted Cam, my best cube-mate at work and he just looked concerned, told me to get some water, take it easy and he'd keep an eye on me. I felt like that was a suitable answer so I did as I was told then resumed my call flow. After finishing up a call, I noticed my red light was lit on my phone that indicates I have a voice mail. I listened to it and it was a physician from Health Services.
The next few moments went like this: I listen to my voice mail and it loosely stated to go to down to Health Services or leave to go to the emergency room immediately.
I call Health Services to tell them I am coming, go into lunch, notify Cam and walk down.
I check in and I am told to fill out some forms and bring them up.
I fill out the forms and bring them back up.
I am told to sit.
I go and sit for forty-five minutes while people casually walk in and out of the waiting room.
Meanwhile, I am freaking out. Why am I not in a room? Why am I not being treated? If they tell me to go to the ER immediately or come to Health Services why is no one concerned or seeing me right away? I feel like I am having a minor heart attack, so I did the only thing that calms me. I text a few friends and take photos using my fun apps on my iPhone. Right before I was about to get up and leave to go to the ER, I get called in, get a breathing treatment and some advice and go back to work.
I kept my primary care appointment for my breathing that was scheduled for the following morning. Upon arrival I find out there that I have restricted airway-type asthma and that it is completely different from the sports-induced asthma that I have been treated for since I was a child. It is also explained to me that I was never officially diagnosed with asthma until this day. So all of the years they have been treating for something that was quite obvious, but they were never for sure of. I leave the appointment with two new inhalers and a few other medications.
Thursday, April 14th : I just arrived at work and am sitting in the parking lot. I sit in it for so long that I actually become to late to work. It is again hard to breath and I start to get scared. Remembering that my supervisor has asthma, I went into my office, walked straight to his desk and told him of my difficulty. He told me that he was going to call 911. I looked at him and told him I was going to set my stuff down at my desk and try anything I could to remain composed while we waited for the EMT to arrive. I sat at my desk and text B. and immediately she sent a frantic text or two and I tried to explain what was going on, but my hands were shaking and I couldn't form coherent statements, so on my way out I had my supervisor take down her number and call her while I left for the emergency room.
Good news: The firefighters were the ones that picked me up and they were all around my age, gorgeous and humorous.
Bad news: I was put on a gurney and rolled out of my workplace before I could even clock in for work.. and I was going to the ER. That is also bad news bears.
During the ride, they get my breathing under control, they had me take a few medications and they made my ride as comfortable as they could by talking with me and just chatting away. I then realized all of my current thoughts were going to involve me being arrested for arson at the end because all I could think about was setting everything on fire in their district to watch them work. I had a good, imaginary, plan until I came back to real life and reminded myself that I would be putting both the firefighters and potentially civilians in danger, I would not do well in jail/prison and I could probably stop by the local bars and see them there.
From there, I have Todd, my nurse at the hospital and all I could think about was Scrubs and the differences between the two medical professionals. I loved real-life Todd. He was amazing. While I waited to see my doctor and while waiting for test results I repetitively e-mailed my friend Nick to keep myself occupied documenting the entire journey. It was was either a) annoying because I sent him like nine hundred, b) frightening because he is away and couldn't be there for me, or c) humorous because all of the medications I took and the way I describe things is quite different and is possibly entertaining.
I had to wait until B. was off of work to come visit me/pick me up since I was technically under the influence.. I waited six hours for B. to arrive and when she got there all I needed to do was be discharged. B. brought me super hero popsicles and we read the cute jokes on the back, took pictures and videos while we waited for me to sign my discharge papers so I could leave. It was amazing, she brightened my day so much.
I had an inflamed pallet of cartilage that covers my lower ribs. I guess it's fairly common for the amount of activity I do, though it is rarely diagnosed. They also told me the same exact thing my PCP did. So I leave with more medications and hang out with Becca for the rest of the day.
I also am told that I am not allowed to run for a few weeks.. or jog.. or walk for extended amount of time. This floors me. What am I supposed to do? As I already stated, Kellie-Anne calmed me down and took control of the miles while I was out, sacrificing her free time, and at one point, her health, to keep me afloat and the project alive. Again, thank goodness for her.
Friday, April 15th : I was obviously not feeling very well, so I did the adult thing and decided not go to the Indians game as I had planned to; however, the boys did end up taking me to Melt. The only reason why I am even mentioning this is because I am upset that I missed my first baseball game of the season in the first winning season the Indians have had in years (I am at Starbucks and literally knocked on the wooden table where I am sitting) and going to Melt was a pretty amazing thing. First, I love grilled cheese and Melt is a gourmet grilled cheese restaurant. Also, it is one of the only places that Cleveland has that is nationally recognized as an amazing place. We do have amazing places, and there is so much to do here, but the Food Network covering a place to eat is a much bigger deal for us than one would expect. I could rant about how amazing I believe Cleveland is and how it should have a better reputation for the local events, shops and museums, but I will just move on because I could write an entire blog about it. You can visit Melt's website
here and look at their menu, Melt tattoos and experience some of the love that I have for the place.
Sunday, April 17th : B. and I took a day trip to Toledo, OH to see a friend play with his band. It was the only Ohio date they had and at this point I missed the kid to death. I still felt awful. Exhaustion kept creeping up on me and overwhelming me. I kept my purse with me and it seemed to only hold my planner and a small pharmacy full of medications. The entire drive was nice, it was a glorious ride and the speed limit on I-80 had risen from 70 MPH to 75 MPH and it allowed for a more glorious ride. Driving 5 MPH faster than usual had made the ride more exciting, I felt as if I were breaking all of the rules. Although I was excited, I kept telling B. how I missed running and how I missed being outside and active and that it was having the reverse reaction on my body as I had hoped. I felt more exhausted and less relaxed when I was hoping to feel well-rested and rejuvenated. B. lovingly reminded me that I was talking crazy and since I have been to the hospital three times for my asthma since the beginning of the year, I really should cool my jets and enjoy the time without worrying so much. She is really good at reminding me that I am being crazy when I am being overwhelmingly crazy. At the rest stop, I text Kellie-Anne and she reiterated what B. had said. They were right; however, B. knew I was sill upset so she suggested that we mall walk before the show and shop a little. So that is what we did and I felt alright. We bought new dresses and then watched Caleb play an amazing show, stayed way too long to hang out and then the trip back home. It was a great day and it was nice logging one single mile out of the many, many I've been missing. Thanks again to Kellie-Anne for hauling booty during April to help relieve the stress I have been feeling about missing out. She's amazing and I have no idea where I would be without her.
Sunday, April 24th : The next way I could figure to get out more was to go back to Fairport and walk my amazing pup, Max. He is a fun little booger and I miss him and my dad a lot, so it was a perfect solution. Plus, it was finally warmer outside and I wouldn't feel bad about being outside when I shouldn't or not being outside when I could be. I also had missed the flat walking space, seeing people I could converse with, walking whenever and wherever I could and the smell and the sounds of the lake. I have been going back to Fairport every few days to get in some miles and spend time with my family. It's been nice, and a great help for my body and mind.
Saturday, April 30th : My sister, Wendy, and I went on our first run together. She just finished a pretty intense session of kickboxing before our group had left. It was never like I wondered, but now I am completely positive why my sister always looks amazing. She kills it in the gym in her spare time (I still have no idea how she fits it into her schedule or has the energy to do all of this). The run was a poker run, a run where you stop at certain locations to pick up a card and try to create the best poker hand. We both had horrible hands but it a fundraiser for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure that a friend of my sister was participating in so we felt amazing running for such a great cause. I plan to run the actual 5k in the summer when it comes around again this year. Anyway, I had an amazing time running with my sister and I am so pumped to run some races and train with her during the summer!
Now I am ready to get back to the gym and start mild jogging again. I should be back to full speed by the second week of May, though I am going to try not an push it too far in order not fall back into the place I am now just getting out of. Right now, I am too scared to see how far behind I am as an individual, but I know Kellie-Anne has been pushing it really hard and we will be okay. I start going back to the gym today, I am not going to run for very long, but enough to break a good sweat and make me feel better about eating almost an entire roll of Girl Scout's Thin Mint cookies and eating additional goodies over the weekend to celebrate B.'s birthday here and K-A's in Texas (I had I small glass of red wine for her at 12:00 AM ET to celebrate, took a picture, forgot to send it and now I can't find it - sad).
But, here is the silver lining: I finally feel better. My sickness is finally under control and I no longer have to worry about it. It is something that I can't let rule my life and thank goodness I have my friends and family to support me doing this and to keep me motivated through this process. You all have lifted my head up through all of this so I would keep on truckin'. I would have never been able to do it without you.
I am off to the gym no to re-start my routine. I wont push it too hard, don't worry, I am no longer going to stress about the miles, just wrap them up at a manageable pace and keep my lungs and body as my main priority as they always should have been.
xoxo,
Angela
p.s. I found out I fit into a size SIX yesterday! When we started running, I was in size TWELVE! I am pumped!!!
